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| Artwork courtesy of Unibroue |
Well, it's that time again. Everybody knows that the best kind of science is delicious science; and so of late, I have been on a quest to taste test all the Montreal institutions I can think of. This time, we're going for the beer.
Yes, as beers go, our Unibroue is our pride in Quebec. A frothy ambassador, it pops up on the menus of fancy pubs far beyond the outskirts of la belle province. And among the brewery's many charms, perhaps the charmiest of all is the apocalyptic labelling. You've seen them -- Maudite, Fin du Monde, Trois Pistoles -- all offering hoppy deliciousness in a wrapping that foresees our coming doom. You can't really call this province home until you've popped a cork on one of these suckers and gotten nicely toasted by the hellfire within.
I decided to do a taste test to find the finest of our pessimistic brews. I rounded up an assortment of guinea pigs, enticing them with snacks and promises of free booze, and the experiment was underway.
Six participants were given a tasting of each beer in a small glass, which was poured out of their sight. Glasses were well-rinsed between portions. Tasting progressed from lightest to darkest beer, but everyone was allowed additional tries before making their final decision.
La Fin du Monde (The End of the World) - 9%
This light-coloured ale was named in honour of the European explorers who, upon reaching the shores of America, thought that they had come to the end of the earth.
It was the first we tasted, and by far the foamiest of the three, with a head that had a mind of its own. Everyone was fond of it; the consensus was that it was pleasantly spicy, with hints of ginger. Most thought it limey - but not like a Corona - with a sweet aftertaste that belied its 9% alcohol content.
"It's perfect for a summer terrasse," said Dave, "in mid-afternoon." Heath weighed in, saying it would be "the perfect accompaniment to hot street meat?a couple sausages, maybe."
"It's a sweater," Heath agreed, "with overtones of expensive leather." But leather is not meant to be hammered back; "il faut le déguster," Marc insisted.
Maudite (Damned) - 8%
According to the tale of "Chasse-Galerie," one winter long ago in Québec, a group of lumberjacks were so desperate to get home to their wives that they made a pact with the devil. In exchange for their souls, Satan's canoe transported them across the sky to their village. Not surprisingly, the journey didn't end well.
Tasters found this beer cloudy, potent and crisp. Though less complex than the first, some liked the simplicity; but its major flaw was the excessive carbonation, which most found invasive.
"It's a good autumn beer," ventured Kristy. "It should be drunk in a forest with the leaves changing."
"It's a sweater," Heath agreed, "with overtones of expensive leather." But leather is not meant to be hammered back; "il faut le déguster," Marc insisted.
Trois Pistoles (Three Coins) - 9%
The town of Trois Pistoles has an unreasonably big church. Legend has it that at the time of construction, the town bishop summoned help with the heavy lifting. This came in the form of a large black steed, a sort of benevolent devil. Some silly schmo removed its bridle, however, and to this day the church is missing its final stone.
Dark and subtle, everyone agreed there were hints of plum and even Coca-Cola here. Some found it hard to finish, but said Bobby, "if I had a 9 to 5 job, I'd drink this after work."
Judgement Day
Four out of six participants preferred La Fin du Monde. "It made me happy," explained Michael, while Marc and Heath liked the complexity. Kristy appreciated how easy it was going down, and the fruit and spice mix. "I wouldn't get drunk on it," said Marc, "but to taste and appreciate, it's the best."
Dave defended Maudite because it was more creamy and consistent than the others. "It's like mellow, soothing oral sex," he casually observed.
Bobby voted for Trois Pistoles because it was as complex as La Fin du Monde, but with a darker colour and a pleasurable thickness. A Trois Pistoles fan, Heath had thought he would be in this camp, and had his mind changed. However, he recognised that this might be a result of the spring weather that tends to give Montrealers a kind of cold weather amnesia; "I liked the summery taste," he said. "Trois Pistoles is spicy. It's the one I bring out when winter's coming. I sip it, and it's like 'damn, it's getting cold.'"
And after all, at the end of a long winter, who wouldn't be ready for a good dose of fire and brimstone?
Ginger Jacobs is the nom de plume of a freelance writer living in Montreal.
And I feel fine
Unibroue beers are available at most sensible grocery stores and dépanneurs. For a history of the brewery, brewing techniques, and a how-to guide for appreciating their beers, visit http://www.unibroue.com.
Are you a Montrealer with impeccable taste?
Do you think buying smoked meat from The Main is a travesty? Ever come close to fisticuffs with a Fairmount bagel lover? Looking to bust open the world of Montreal taste institutions? If you would like to be part of one of Ginger's upcoming panels,
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. Guinea pigs of the world, unite! |
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