5 tips on how to make the most out of Montreal's premier festival
by Ginger Jacobs
You've heard the theory: the ever-mysterious Powers That Be in these parts, wary of the negative effects of minus 30 wind chills on the populace, orchestrated the July 1st lease renewal. The summer is so nice here, they allegedly reasoned, that it would cause residents to forget the nose hair-solidifying cold that preceded it.
The Festival International de Jazz de Montréal is a big part of what makes summer so heavenly for local folk and tourists alike. But let's face it; it can be a lot to handle. And so we present you with Montréal Magazine's guide to making the most of the shows, the crowds, and all that jazz.
Know thyself. Are you a seat-of-the-pants character, or do you prefer your festival outings to be akin to a well oiled machine? Rumour has it that this has something to do with your blood type; we're not sure. But we do know that self-awareness is vital to staving off a bout of the crankies. Pick up a festival guide if that's your thing; go for things that sound good to you, and above all, know when to quit?and grab dinner somewhere you can actually sit down.
Ah, organised culture; is there anything more guilt-ridden?
Not all General Motors stages are created equal. We're not sure if you've noticed this, but sponsors like to put their names all over everything; and that can complicate matters. In search of a Malian griot, and finding only Dixieland trios? Circling Place des Arts and peering through sweaty crowds can take the steam out of even the most enthusiastic festival-goers. Take a cue from your friendly neighbourhood four-star general, and study the field before you go into battle.
There are no fashion victims, only perpetrators. The jazz fest can be a fashion disaster area. We know they're conveniently hands-free, but there is no excuse for a fanny pack. And it may be comfortable for walking through the hot streets, but socks and sandals? Strictly verboten. This is Montreal, people! We're famous for being pretty and put together. Is that such a terrible stereotype to perpetuate? And if you're in from out of town, be sensitive to the local culture, for goodness sake, and leave your Tilley hat at home.
Sun stroke just isn't as cool as it used to be. I didn't say all hats are out; just the ugly ones. Remember, there is nothing attractive about dizzy spells and peeling skin. Break out the SPF 40, take advantage of the downtown malls for their A/C and shade, and lay off the beer long enough for the occasional hit of water.
Don't go to the jazz festival. Ah, organised culture; is there anything more guilt-ridden? And it hits Montrealers hardest of all. The moment the sun comes out of hiding, music, film, theatre and sundry arts swarm this place like biblical locusts. Naturally, we feel obligated to appreciate them. We go on about how much the city comes alive in the summertime; we make lofty plans to hit more free museum days and sidewalk shows and obscure film screenings than you can shake a glossy program at. And as the sun begins setting before 8 pm, we are inevitably filled with remorse at not having taken advantage of it all. Call it a sort of reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder. Sure, you could buckle down, get organised and come at this summer season with renewed determination. Or you could deal with the problem like an adult - by giving up. Nap more, watch bad summer reality TV that everyone pretends not to love, and above all, spend more time sipping sangria on a terrasse. That's all the Montreal summer culture you need, anyway.
Ginger Jacobs is the nom de plume of a freelance writer living in Montreal.
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